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When You Are Cut From the Team |
How to effectively deal with not making the team -- a lesson for parents and players. |
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This article is from a series of posts that occurred at the Coaching Hoops Yahoo! Group. Here is how one parent and son dealt with not making the team. Being cut can be a difficult experience for all (players don't want to be cut, parents don't want their son or daughter to be cut and can find it difficult when there is nothing they can do to help, and coaches really don't enjoy when having to make cuts). If there is one way to deal with it, display phenomenal character, and be a role model for others, this is it! [This article has been edited for content -- Click here to read the original question, answers, and tips from other coaches]
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"First, let me say thanks to the many comments shared on this subject. Very helpful. I read every one of them, took notes, and came up with a strategy.
We took the input and decided the best thing to do is that he should speak with the coach. He approached the coach, and told him that he respects and honors his decision; he said he still wants to be part of the squad and asked if he can help with the books, manage the team... anything at all.
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The whole time the coach was shaking his head 'no'. After the kid was done, the coach said that "everyone cut wants to be a manager, I'll see." And that my friends, was that.
After a difficult day on Monday because of being "demoted", so to speak, he had to have his scheduled changed, two classes switched to new teachers and classmates, and a different lunch away from all his basketball friends, who all shared the same lunch time.
However, the kid is having a great attitude. He said that:
- This is a "trial" for him and that he has been putting basketball ahead of God and needs to re-focus.
- He printed a bunch of quotes about going through hard times, then overcoming them, and hung them all over his room.
- Two varsity players came up to him and said this was not cool and offered to meet him in the weight room after school to help him out.
- He started a daily schedule so he can follow a routine to attend his activities and when he would have time to work out etc.
- He asked me to get him in an adult league or something so he could keep playing until his club team starts in March.
- He has had good support from his friends, both on and off the court.
So all in all, yes, it hurts to see your child be treated unfairly; no lie. I have been very objective here. I mean, how many of us in the workforce have seen unfairness -- someone getting promoted over another -- and then asked ourselves, 'Why?'. How many of us have had a poor manager or leader, and during that time, we were not as productive as we could of been? Because of poor management, we were distracted, felt a sense of being micro-managed, criticized for doing a job we thought was good...you know what I mean? We all have had hard times at our job. This is life.
The kid will get through this. He will move forward and get better. I truly believe some of the kids will regress under this JV coaching, just as my kid and others did last year. One parent on Saturday cracked me up. He said "I am glad my kid made the team, but at the same time, I am worried he will get worse." True statement...he could not have said it better. And in a strange way, actually helped me out.
Well, thanks again and appreciate your input. In closing, I will leave you with what I told the kid, "yeah...we have been knocked down son.....but we are not knocked out."
[Join the Coaching Hoops Yahoo! Group to get in on discussions such as this, X's and O's, philosophies, techniques .. pretty much everything under the hoop!] |
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